Real talk: I could write a whole book about my struggles with perfection. But then I would go to edit it, see all of my writing errors, wonder why I even try to write. I would then proceed to question my legitimacy to even speak on the subject. Considering I’ve never been able to beat it, should I really be writing about it at all? Do I even know what I’m talking about? I mean, I don’t even have a college degree (yet)?
Perfection: Worst Boyfriend Ever
Perfectionism was the bad relationship I couldn’t let go. One week I would prance around like didn’t need it, the next I’m crawling back. It’s like the perfectly chiseled, unattainable person at the ball. You know, when you look at them and the chimes play and things go in slow motion? The one who is out of your league and knows it, but strings you along so you can stroke its ego? It dawned on me one during one particular battle with imposters syndrome that I was in a tragic on again off again relationship. Since adolescence, I had been struggling with it. It’s one of the reasons why, pushing thirty, I feel I have accomplished nothing.
In launching GSW, I was tempted to flirt with Perfection a lot. It got to me when I was looking into other people’s blogs, latched on when I got stressed about photography and my writing. That’s why this time? I shoved him away. When perfection said, “Oh you’re just not good like *insert amazing blogger/Instagrammer/whatever here* why are you trying?”, I said, “Go find someone else to get you off, because it won’t be me”. Crude, perhaps, but treating it like the 2 am “you up” text actually helped a lot. And if perfection tempts you? Learning is a much better lover. It will stick with you when things get rough, and enjoy you taking things at your own pace. When you feel like you’re not good enough, learning will be there to encourage you. Fall in love with learning instead.